转载

我们有一种深深的受伤者心态，面对日本时尤其如此。一个受伤者表现其愤怒并没有错，但是当你一遍遍的展示你的伤口时，最初的令人同情就可能转化成缺乏自尊。如果缺乏自尊，这些受伤经验就可能无法转化成真正的精神遗产。在不断重复日本在战争中对中国犯下的暴行后，我却发现其实对于未经过那个时代的中国人来说，他们对此并不了解。犹太人不断书写着他们在集中营里的遭遇，对苦难的持续性的细致记忆，使他们可能陷入了偏狭，但同样会使他们保持共同的记忆，这种记忆赋予他们一种凝聚力和面对此刻困难的勇气。

坦白而言，我们对于战争创伤的记忆则是苍白的。距离1931年的9•18事变已77年了，我尚未看到关于中国方面对这场战争做出的全景式的描述，我也没有看到足够有力量的电影、音乐和书籍来记述它。关于南京大屠杀的权威著作来自一位美籍华人张纯如，她本应在中国被视为英雄，但她在旧金山自杀时，大多数中国媒体不了解她是谁。每年在这场战争的纪念日时，我总期待看到那些亲历者们的回忆。我读过一本日本亲历者对于二战的回忆，那是《朝日新闻》1995年发起的一场征文，士兵与平民回忆他们的战争经验。

类似的行为在我们却几乎从未真正进行过。当亲历战争的一代人最终离去时，很有可能，我们将丢失真实和细节的记忆。而当细节消失时，所有的回忆和控诉，将简化成一种口号，口号缺乏力量，又随时可能被利用和替换。这不正是今日中国对于日本态度的现状吗？我们对于日本怀有某种意识形态式的反感，当触及到某个敏感点时，我们的情绪被迅速调动起来，但因为没有真实的经验做依托，这种情绪既不够深沉、也不够真诚，它轻易地到来，也轻易地消散。

我一直记得乔治•华盛顿的那句话：“一个沉湎于对其他民族充满爱慕或仇恨情绪的民族，会变成某种意义上的奴隶，也就是这种爱慕或者仇恨的奴隶。”

浇点水

做了好一段时间的宅女，深入简出，最近终于下定决心要开始socialize。
我先要组织一个几十个人的圣诞聚会。That's what I'm doing right now...
-------------------------
最近认识了一个gay，他也喜欢Wentworth Miller. 更确切地说，他是bi，因为他现在有个女朋友。
然后我的知识又丰富了。知道了原来gay里面除了有0和1的分类，还有很多是0.5的。天啊，这个朋友择偶范围还真广……
------------------------
最近更加觉得事物的难分对错，复杂，和从不同的角度来看更加无法定义的模糊性。
没有信仰的国度，果真非常容易迷失。

I Wish I Could

I wish I could have forever.
But I can't.
I can just establish an order of priority.
There're always deadlines to meet.

I wish I could do everything I want to.
But I can't.
I can just hope and try.
There're things I should give up.

I'm chained.

人为什么会越老记忆越不好

以下为摘抄：

A gradual breakdown of communication between different parts of the brain helps to explain why mental functions decline in old age, even in people who do not suffer from a disease such as Alzheimer's.

……

Jessica Andrews-Hanna, the study leader, said that, although some deterioration in intra-brain communication was a normal consequence of ageing, there were some exceptions. “It may explain why some people are just as sharp in their 90s as they are in their 40s,” she said. “We all age differently.”

:(

Listening to an old English song, I can't help dropping tears.
I don't enjoy watching the Music Video or seeing the singer, but the lyrics bring me back to years ago.
I don't want to retrieve anything that nenver really belongs to me, but I miss who I was. I lived in a fairy tale. It's sad, but there's nothing better. As a leading actor in my life, an individual, to me the world is the world in my eyes, although it nenver was, and perhaps it'll never be.

There're too many people, too little privacy, too much distortion, too little love.
Loneliness doesn't mean that there's no one you can be with, while it's that there's no one can understand.

Must Know More

Though the so-called ivory tower isn't really ivory, the real world is more tanglesome.
An acquaintance I knew from work got his master's degree in a fine university in England, while he got his bachelor's degree in a very so-so university in China. Well that's not the point. The point is that he had extremely good impression of England. Last summer he went there again. When he's back, the wise professors, polite ladies and gentlemen were still in his mind, but it was not what England was all about anymore. This time he got a comparatively more comprehensive idea about the society. Those biases were gone. He finally sighed and said:"Well, it doesn't really make much difference."

We're about to walk out from universities. We'll meet a lot of people of various backgrounds, using all kinds of words and phrases. We'll interact with several circles. We cannot understand some people. But there must be reasons for all these, and we'd better try to figure them out.

乱搭

有时候我会故意不要穿得那么neat，那么一丝不苟，那么搭配得完美无缺。

有时候胡乱穿衣服也有一些乱七八糟的随性乐趣。

但是结果有时候乱来一气，走在街上，自己会暗自觉得自己今天穿得这么不协调，很不好意思。但是还是偶尔会这样来。

有时候我会觉得tired,觉得很讲究搭配得当想着怎么混搭各种衣服使我感到周期性疲倦了。

更无可救药的是，我觉得这也算是一种情趣……